What to Do When We Feel Stranded in A Lonely Desert🌵


We may experience loneliness when we are alone or when we have a community. What can we do when we feel stranded in a lonely desert? 

1. Prickly pear cacti store water

Loneliness can arise when we don’t connect to our emotions, feelings, and truths. A self-watering cactus teaches us to nourish, replenish, and listen to our inner world.

How to Deal with Loneliness

2. Find an oasis in the desert

When we feel lonely, it may seem as though our external environment is barren of supportive resources. However, when we courageously reach out, we will discover an oasis of a support system.

How to Deal with Loneliness

3. Surrender to the season of dryness

It’s okay to feel down. Humans experience seasons of loneliness, just as deserts experience dry spells. A helpful way to deal with loneliness is using mindfulness to observe — rather than judge, resist, or identify with — our situation.

How to Deal with Loneliness

4. Maintain a healthy ecosystem

Our organisms are not isolated — we exchange energy with our social environments! The ecosystem thrives when the interrelationship between organisms and the environment are mutually beneficial and can withstand stressors.

How to Deal with Loneliness

5. Appreciate the diversity of wildlife

We may conform, embellish, or isolate to protect us from rejection. However, deserts thrive on diversity — let’s rattle our tails like a snake, howl like a coyote, and show off our camel hump!

How to Deal with Loneliness

Sending love to you. 🌵

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Categories: emotional healthTags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

17 comments

  1. Thank you for this beautiful sharing, Linda….”A helpful way to deal with loneliness is using mindfulness to observe — rather than judge, resist, or identify with — our situation….invest energy into relationships that nourish you”….you speak only truth out of your heart & wisdom….pls consider writing a book ✨

    Liked by 2 people

    • Hi Navin!!! Thank you so much. 💖 I am dedicated to become a life coach, yet writing a book is something I hope to do (probably later) in my lifetime! 🙂 Would you ever consider writing a poetry book, to share your feelings + stream of consciousness?

      Liked by 1 person

      • You’re already a life coach with wisdom, Linda….I’m sure, you’ll be a gem once you’re established….pls do consider later in your lifetime to write a book….I find your approach unique & it speaks the deeper truth….to be honest, I’m actually considering writing a poetry book coz I feel I must do it for my own sake…right now it’s just a thought…but I’ll act on it once I’ll get some time…idk if anyone would buy it but I wanna atleast give it a try 😊

        Liked by 1 person

      • I’m working on it! Oh my goodness… YES!!! I would buy it! I would read it by randomly opening to a poem (unless it’s designed in a way that’s mean to be read in sequential order). That’s awesome that it speaks to your heart.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Oh wow….I’m humbled & glad that you would buy it….thank you very much for your kind support, Linda ✨ 😊….you must also consider later….people will connect to your words of wisdom 😊

        Liked by 2 people

      • 😊😊😊😊😊! Thank you!!!! I am going to commit to what is authentically aligned with me!

        Liked by 2 people

      • Of course….I like authentical alignment ✨

        Liked by 2 people

  2. All good ideas. I wonder whether we are sometimes more susceptible to listening and sometimes so enmeshed in our own anxiety that nothing will get through. I certainly find I am more receptive at some times than at others.

    Liked by 3 people

    • I resonate with that! When I’m more connected to my heart & the present moment, it’s easier to listen. When I’m feeling anxious and worried, it’s super tough to listen because I am too much in the mind. Thanks for the really insightful point. 🤗

      Liked by 3 people

  3. I think you have expressed some beautiful ideas that are really great advice, but sometimes difficult to apply in real life heartaches. Sometimes the hurt hunts heavily in the desert. I know there have been times where I went through experiences that were socially so painful, I felt like I needed to be more like a desert tortoise tucked entirely inside my shell, protecting my softer inner parts for a time. And then I feel like maybe I can stick a limb out here, another there… Until I remember once again that I can be a cactus bloom. It’s easy to forget that sometimes, that we can bloom and glow.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi Ariana! Hope you are doing well. Yes, you said it beautifully. When we are in moments of loneliness, it can feel safe to hide from the world. For me, I adapted to the pain of loneliness! I thought I was naturally a lone wolf. However, I’ve met some beautiful people and my perspective has shifted. I agree that it takes a lot of strength to step outside one’s shell. However, once we bravely do, it feels so nourishing, like an oasis. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      • You are right, it can take so much strength to step out of one’s shell sometimes! Sometimes people duck inward for different reasons. I think I tucked inside from the cumulative effect of several years of experiences. Being a mom of a kiddo with significant needs will reshape everything and everything that is possible about a person’s social world. And then we left a high demand religion as a family a couple years ago, and that came with both hard and soft shunning for me. Not saying that to throw stones at them or any other religious group, those were just the circumstances. And then came the pandemic.

        The great thing is that people can be very resilient, but I couldn’t handle being vulnerable and putting myself out there for a little while. In that time period I really discovered how valuable it was that I could be a good friend to myself. I did still have regular contact with a couple of close friends, but that was about all I could emotionally handle. That was a lot to go through back to back for me emotionally with everything else that’s been going on.

        Sometimes I think we need to honor our urge to isolate to whatever degree is needful to help ourselves heal for a time being, but I think it is not healthy to isolate for too long. And now I am trying to figure out all the ways I want to bloom… It’s very nice to have options when a person feels ready for them☺️

        And we are doing ok, thank you for the good wishes and I offer you the same 💜

        Liked by 1 person

      • Ariana, I want to take one second to thank you for your beautiful comments. They are so thoughtful, thank you for sharing. As a mom, you adapted to being a parent to Tony, who is lucky to have such a caring parent. In many ways, being a parent can require sacrifice. It seems like your social world had to adapt to being a parent for Tony, the pandemic, and being a “black sheep” of a religious family, which made you tuck into your shell more! I relate to that, when we can’t immediately find others that understand our transforming selves/circumstances, we go within to develop a deeper relationship with ourselves. That’s also what happened to me when I was going through a spiritual awakening!

        I love that you say people are resilient, it’s one aspect of a human’s potential. The emotional weight we carry around us is a burden we shouldn’t carry alone, but in those isolated moments, we can develop a deeper relationship with ourselves. It’s as if, to be my own friend, I have to know my past pain and how to be there for myself to heal with it! In these moments of internal processing, interactions can be draining. ❤

        Haha! That is wise advice. Yes. Find the time to reconnect within, but also find the time to bloom into the world as who you are. To deeply nurture our emotional waters by filling our own cups, sharing our cups with others, and letting our cups be filled. The balance can be harder to achieve in some of life’s moments. It can also be difficult when we have been in hermit mode! I will think about this further. 🙂

        Thank you, Ariana!

        Liked by 1 person

      • Hello again Linda 🌷 I think for me, probably the hardest thing was going through a series of events with people wanting to cut ties either because of the circumstances surrounding Tony’s disabilities or because I resigned my membership to our former Church. Because for the family I was born into, everyone I had a close relationship with has passed away at this point, those friends were the family of my heart. The makeshift family I had made for myself, if you will. Our former Church (which is the church my husband was born into) teaches that they are the only one true church and anybody who walks away basically has chosen evil. I don’t agree with either of those premises, and I’m not trying to be mean in describing that, I am just stating factually what is. I only have one person who is a member of that church that is still friends with me based on behavior and actions, several people cut off contact the moment I resigned, others distance themselves before entirely phasing out contact. I want to be respectful and try to represent their views on this, but I can only represent what the church teaches (because they certainly didn’t talk to me about how they were feeling individually) and state that I did not try to criticize the church to them in any way because I was hoping to preserve relationships, but this is just how it goes for many people who leave that church.

        It is not easy to have people that tell you they love and respect you walk away for those kinds of reasons. To literally go from a set of friends that think you’re an amazing person just because of where you go to church all of a sudden now think that you have chosen quite literally to become an awful person or are just plain spiritually very dangerous. It is in fact very damaging emotionally, and organizations that promote that kind of reaction I think design it as a way to keep people in the group, to increase the fear of the pain of the social cost of leaving.

        It takes a lot of self care under any circumstances to walk through that, but when you are in the circumstances our family is in where opportunities to go out and meet new people are already very limited… I’ve been trying to be the self-care Queen let’s put it that way for the past couple years. And I made it through 😅

        That is not to say I didn’t have any friends left, I just lost most of them. I am very good friends with Emily, who has worked with our family for years now, I’m still friends and keep in contact with Whitney (who used to do therapy work with Tony before she moved out of state), Gena was never a member of my former church so none of this impacted the way she thought about me, and I owe a huge chunk of the fact that I didn’t fall into a depression about all of this to the support Emily and Gena gave me through all of this. I have a couple more out-of-state friends, so I don’t want to paint a picture that would make you feel so sorry for me is all of that. But emotionally I wasn’t feeling in a place where I could be vulnerable with anybody new, so into my turtle shell I went!

        Thank you for being so kind and listening to me and responding back and forth to me. Sometimes when I read your stuff I feel like I am having an Anne Shirley moment, and that we are kindred spirits. I hope you have a wonderful day and that you are able to take good care of yourself! 💜

        Liked by 1 person

      • Hi Ariana!

        The way you described it honors everyone’s perspective. That is difficult to go through. First, to have friends who do not understand Tony’s health situation. Second, to have former friends cut you off based on religious views. We all have different types of social conditioning that cause us to believe certain views over others. On another note, your note that religion can be fear-based is a strong point of discernment, as it is very controlling to say that you must believe this or you are evil. I’m glad you found the views that are right for you. I had a conversation with my brother that I would like to share with you, because you may relate to it. My brother said many friendships have an expiration date. We constantly evolve, transform, and change. We go on different paths. Life happens. Only a few gems of friends, if any, may stay throughout one’s life. It makes me feel a bit sad to accept this.

        Haha, the self-care Queen! For those that never learned self-care like me, it was life-changing! It was like, now I can give from a place where I am filled, not from a place where I am sacrificing myself. Sometimes, I still have to set boundaries to remind myself of this. 🙂

        I do not feel sorry for you. I see the resilience! I’m glad you have great friends! Haha. I’m glad we could relate to the turtle shell metaphor. As for me, I cut out my narcissistic best friend and lost my dad. I basically retreated into my spiritual awakening to heal what was happening and my social anxiety. And now I feel ready to interact with the world on a much larger scale.

        Haha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have that feeling too! Love reading your comments. Thank you for taking the time to write such THOROUGH, meaningful, and considerate comments. I hope you also are having a self-care queen day!!! If you would like to chat, I have Whatsapp and you can contact me on my contact page. If not, see you around WordPress!!!

        Liked by 1 person

      • Thorough definitely describes me, sometimes a little bit too thorough probably🤦.

        I think your brother is wise in his remarks, but it’s still a big bummer when a whole bunch of them have the exact same expiration date, then it feels more like a social mass extinction.

        A narcissist can be very hard to deal with and it can take some time to process and recover from a relationship with one. I am very sorry to hear about your dad! 🌹

        Right now, I don’t have much in the way of social media. I have a blog, and I sometimes comment on YouTube but that’s the extent of it. I was very grateful not to have social media when I left our former church, because I have heard from other people that it makes it a thousand times worse and that if I did have it I should walk away from it for a time. I never really got social media for a lot of reasons, one of which being as it was coming into popularity I didn’t feel comfortable with the pressure the church put on its members to represent the church and it’s best possible light to the world, because I already knew that wasn’t what I identified with on the inside.

        I am trying right now to consider what I can do in terms of management my crazy world and be present in an appropriate and meaningful way on social media. Yesterday for example, was a black hole of therapy and doctor’s appointments and filling out paperwork because Tony is being assessed for yet another diagnosis. If I decide to pick up WhatsApp I will definitely look you up. ☺️ For right now though, you’ll just be seeing me on WordPress until I make some decisions about what I can manage with my health and being a mom to two with everything else that’s going on. But it is part of my Bloom plan, I’m just trying to decide what all I can take on with that.

        Take care, and thank you for sharing your thoughts and your brother’s thoughts. I really appreciate the thoughtful nature of the time you’ve put into responding to me so much! 🌸

        Liked by 1 person

      • Yeah, it must have been rough to lose all your friends at once. You are very strong for blooming anyways! It’s strange that friends has the word “end” in it, but maybe that’s also because some friends stay till the very end. ❤

        Yeah, social media has a lot of noise, perpetuates a lot of social expectations, etc. However, I also like social media as a medium to express messages! I'm glad you drew a boundary with social media because it would have made you uncomfortable! ❤

        You have so much going on internally, as well as externally. Though your focus feels scattered, I hope you find the present moment at times and bloom with your "Bloom plan" (haha)! If you do decide to join Whatsapp, we can talk there!

        Last note: I read the first three pages of The New Earth and loved it so much. Wow. It mentioned how flowers are beautiful, they disrupt us from our mind and center us in the beauty of creation. Thank you for sharing this book with me. 🙂

        Thank you for your thoughtful words as well. These were great convos! ❤ I'm wishing you and your family well. Take care! ❤

        Liked by 1 person

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